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Facing a divorce is something no one anticipates at the start of a marriage, but sometimes it's inevitable and the best way to move forward to the happiest possible future. The good news is that getting a divorce doesn't have to place you as an adversary of your former partner, but you need to place the well-being of you and your kids first through every step of the divorce.


Money is often a matter of contention that is a contributing factor to many divorces, and it can also be a major obstacle as you start to rebuild your life during and after a divorce. On the other hand, smart decisions can help safeguard the financial health of you and your kids in the coming years. Look out for your best interests by not making these financial mistakes during your divorce.



Mistake #1: Clinging to the Home or Possessions

Part of getting a divorce is learning to let go of many things you may have previously considered to be a permanent part of your life. It's important to try to let go of the emotional attachment you may have to the family home or other possessions since there will need to be a division of assets in the divorce. You need to try to look at things as realistically as possible.


Try to objectively assess whether selling the family home makes the best financial sense for your family. Sometimes it is impossible for a divorcing parent to go on living in a family home when a two-income household suddenly has only one income, but it may be best if you can afford it. Whatever decision you make, try to make it based on what is best for you and your kids.



Mistake #2: Focusing on Revenge

The reality of getting a divorce can feel brutal in some ways, but you don't have to fight with your ex. There is often a lot of hurt and anger involved in getting a divorce. However, if you give in to the negative feelings you have for your ex and start taking actions out of a desire for revenge, you will likely start a race to the bottom that is as bad for you as it is for your ex.


If you start focusing on revenge, that is likely to inspire similar behavior in your ex. That can get in the way of your ability to effectively co-parent with your ex, and the price of revenge can be higher than you imagined. A focus on revenge can end up making a divorce more expensive, too, and it can ultimately take money away that could have gone to supporting your children.



Mistake #3: Failing to Pursue Spousal Support

Although you don't want to focus on trying to hurt your ex, it's important to prioritize what's best for you. Some people don't seek spousal support because of a misguided attempt to keep the peace, but that can cost them dearly for the rest of their lives. In most situations, you should pursue spousal support, but ask for advice from your attorney if in doubt.


When it comes to ruling on spousal support, the court may consider your need for spousal support and your ex's ability to pay it. Your health, age, education, and the length of your marriage may all be considered as well. It can be a mistake to shy away from at least trying to obtain spousal support no matter what your temporary situation may be.


Finally, as uncomfortable as it can be to take a long, hard look at your money issues and address finances directly with your ex, it's important to do so. Meanwhile, you can always reach out to your divorce attorney with any financial questions related to your divorce. The caring and professional attorneys at Melder & Melder PC can help address any concerns you have.