The golden rule teaches people to be kind to each other. After all, everyone wants to be on the receiving end of kindness, so empathy for others isn't complicated. However, anyone who is going through a divorce likely knows how difficult kindness can be when facing heated situations with an ex. Nevertheless, keep the following "do nots" in mind during your divorce.
Stop! Don't Be Careless with Social Media Posts
One of the most tempting things to do in the age of social media is to rant and rave online. People take to their social media accounts to air their dirty laundry and fuss about everything from a misspelled name on a paper coffee cup to the things their kids did wrong. Don't give in to the temptation to vent about your divorce online. If you post anything, be kind and general.
Stop! Don't Press Their Buttons
You and your ex probably know each other better than most other people ever will. That can be a good thing, but the bad part of it during a divorce can be the fact that you can both still push each other's buttons. Never go there with your ex when you are getting a divorce. In fact, you may openly ask your ex for a truce where neither of you engages in button-pushing behavior.
Stop! Don't Be Late Picking Up or Dropping off the Kids
One of the stressful things about getting a divorce will be figuring out how to give your kids a transition that's as easy as possible. You and your ex need to agree to schedules that work for all members of the family. Once you agree to pick up or drop off the children at a certain time, don't even think about being late. Always be there on time. Make no exceptions.
Stop! Don't Spy on Your Ex
Many couples share things like passwords and pin numbers with each other. After all, there is trust between spouses. That can leave you and your ex vulnerable to one another during a divorce. While you may try to change all your passwords, it can be difficult to remember everything. Avoid the temptation to sneak a peek into your ex's accounts even if you have the passwords.
Stop! Don't Allow Your Ex Run the Show
Never let your ex walk all over you. Although you want to be kind whenever possible during your divorce, it's important to set clear boundaries at the start of your divorce. If your ex is worried about losing too much in the divorce, he or she may try to control the outcome by manipulating your decisions. Be sure that your soon-to-be ex is respecting your space and individual needs during a divorce.
Stop! Don't Step Down the Road of Revenge
Ignore the voice in your head that may spark ideas of revenge on your ex. Don't even go there. When you act out of revenge, you stop acting in your own best interest. Ultimately, the best way revenge is simply living well. You'll come out the ultimate winner in your divorce by living a great, full life without your soon-to-be ex.
Finally, keep in mind that most separating spouses face tension in their relationship during the divorce process. It's only natural when two people go from being close to essentially going their separate ways. Nevertheless, there can still be kindness and respect between you and your ex when you handle the relationship with care during the divorce.
If you are facing a divorce, contact the caring attorneys at Melder & Melder PC for help with your divorce. You don't need to go through any part of your divorce alone, and legal professionals can help with child custody, child support, asset division, and all legal aspects of your divorce